Conflict management

Morning all

On Sunday we were going through how we at church and as Christians should deal with difficulties that crop up with each other. Yes I know, those reading this who don’t claim to be born again Christians may raise an eyebrow that church people can fall out – but we too are just people so it happens.

As I thought about this later yesterday and today this teaching cam eo mind in Galatians chapter 6 verses 9 and 10 “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

A cliché syas, “Charity begins at home.” Unfortunately, the fellowship of a local congregation is frequently the most difficult place to do good in the right spirit. This may be partly because of such misguided expectations that Christians “shouldn’t have such problems,” “shouldn’t be causing such offenses,” “should know better than that,” or many other accusations about character and personality flaws that we might make.

We draw back and become weary for many reasons that appear justified: There is so much opposition to good plans for doing things. There is so much to do and, it seems, so few to do it. There are so many calls upon our time in other legitimate areas. There is all too often so much ingratitude among those whom we try to help that we become disheartened.

God has called the weak of this world, and we have brought our character weaknesses and odd personality traits with us into the church. We see people in the church who are so depressed it seems they never have a bright day. Others have cups overflowing with troubles, and they want to dump on any willing to listen. The sick, poor, foolish, weak, cynical, stubborn, critical, cutting, arrogant, aggressive, vain, discouraged, suspicious, pompous, hypocritical, and sarcastic are in every congregation. As a famous cartoon character said, “We have met the enemy, and they is us!”

But God calls upon all of us to “strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees” (Hebrews 12:12). We are to open our hearts wide in listening and generously give the benefit of knowledge, understanding, comfort, exhortation, inspiration, hope, and encouragement from our experiences, especially to those in the church. At the proper time, we can give correction in meekness, considering our own weaknesses. He commands us to open our hands wide to the poor, and He says it will be as though we are loaning the money to Him. We are to “be there” for them, not as a “know-it-all,” but as a “maybe-this-will-help.”

Can we not be kinder in our evaluation of another’s character? If we hear a derogatory story about a brother or sister, should we not ask ourselves, “If someone heard this story about me, would I not want him to disbelieve it until he searched it out and made quite sure that it was true?” Is there not as much wickedness in believing a lie as in telling one? If we are always ready to believe derogatory stories about others, what does that say about our minds? That is hardly a kind attitude described by chrestotes, the Greek word for kindness. Will such an attitude produce unity, peace, and warm, loving fellowship?

No slanderers would exist among us if no one received or believed slander, for when there is no demand for something, no one will produce it. If we will not believe evil reports, the discouraged gossiper will leave off his evil practice or take it elsewhere.

What if we are compelled by the facts to believe the report? A kind person shows his kindness by not repeating it. He will reason to himself, “Though this thing is true, and I am very sorry, why should I spread it to others?” It is the Christian’s responsibility not to expose the brother to further disgrace unless it be absolutely needful—as sometimes it is—but always to deal with the brother in the most gentle, kindest manner possible. As the Golden Rule is commonly recited, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

God’s instruction here is that “as we have the opportunity, let us do good to all men.” Regardless of their station in life, regardless of whether they are in the church, this high requirement stands fast. His only modification is that our brethren in the church have a higher claim on our resources. A teaching we can glean from the Parable of the Good Samaritan is that the Samaritan did not inquire whether the wounded man was “one of his own.” The only criterion was that he needed an act of kindness performed for him in his desperately weakened situation.

So for those who also attended our church yesterday I hope these thoughts help you too as we press on together. And for those others reading this, I trust this is a help to you too.

Have a great week

Mark

 

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